Just for fun-FACTS & JOKES
Interesting facts
- The fastest speeding ticket in the world allegedly occurred in May 2003 in Texas. It was supposedly 242mph in a 75mph zone. The car was a Swedish-built Koenigsegg CCX, which was involved in the San Francisco to Miami Gumball 3000 Rally.[5]
- The fastest convicted speeder in the UK was Daniel Nicks, convicted of 175 mph on a Honda Fireblade motorcycle in 2000. He received six weeks in jail and was banned from driving for two years.[6]
- The fastest UK speeder in a car was Timothy Brady, caught driving a 3.6-litre Porsche 911 Turbo at 172 mph on the A420 in Oxfordshire in January 2007 and jailed for 10 weeks and banned from driving for 3 years.[7]
- Also, in the UK visiting from Japan, Kazuhiko "Smokey" Nagata did 324kph (201mph) on the A1M in a RB26DETT powered Toyota Supra tuned by the company he founded, Top Secret. He was arrested, fined, and banned from driving in the UK. Numerous videos on YouTube show the top speed run, which was filmed by Video Option reporters. One of the reporters hid the tape in his jeans to avoid it being confiscated and being used as evidence against Smokey.
- The most expensive speeding ticket ever given is believed to be the one given to Jussi Salonoja in Helsinki, Finland, in 2003. Salonoja, the 27-year-old heir to a company in the meat-industry, was fined €116,000 for driving 80 km/h in a 40 km/h zone. The uncommonly large fine was due to Finnish speeding tickets being relative to the offender's last known income. Salonoja's speeding ticket was not the first ticket given in Finland reaching six figures.
- Film actor and director Harry Myers received the world's first speeding ticket in 1904, Dayton, Ohio, police ticketed Harry Myers for going twelve miles per hour on West Third Street.
- Another early speeding ticket was issued in 1910 to Lady Laurier, the wife of Wilfrid Laurier, Prime Minister of Canada, in Ottawa, Canada, for exceeding the 10 miles per hour speed limit.
Three Bikers
An old man was eating in a truck stop when three rough-looking bikers walked in. As they passed the old man, the first biker pushed his cigarette into the old man's pie, then laughed and took a seat at the counter. The second biker picked up the old man's milk and spit into it. The third biker turned over the old man's plate before joining the others at the counter.
Without saying a word to the laughing bikers, the old man put his money down, got up, and left the diner. One of the bikers said to the waitress, "Not much of a man, was he?"
The waitress replied," Not much of a truck driver either. He just backed his big rig over three motorcycles!"
A truck drivers duty
A truck driver was heading down the highway when he saw a priest at the side of the road. Feeling it was his duty, he stopped to give the priest a ride. A short time later, he saw a lawyer with a briefcase on the side of the road and aimed his truck at him. At the last second, he thought of the priest with him and realized he couldn't run over the lawyer, so he swerved, but he heard a thump anyway. Looking back as he drove on, he didn't see anything. He began to apologize for his behavior to the priest. "I'm sorry, Father. I barely missed that lawyer at the side of the road."
But the priest said, "Don't worry, son. I got him with my door."
Low Bridge Ahead
A trucker driving along on the freeway notices a road sign in the distance that reads 'Low Bridge Ahead.'
Sure enough, the trucker gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles.
Finally, a police officer arrives at the scene. The cop gets out of his cruiser and walks around to the truck driver. He puts his hands on his hips and remarks, "Looks like you got stuck, huh?"
The trucker replies sarcastically, "No, officer, actually I was delivering this bridge and I ran out of gas!"
Speeding
A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has the following exchange:
Officer: May I see your driver's license?
Driver: I don't have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI.
Officer: May I see the owner's card for this vehicle?
Driver: It's not my car. I stole it.
Officer: The car is stolen?
Driver: That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner's card in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there.
Officer: There's a gun in the glove box?
Driver: Yes sir. That's where I put it after shot and killed the woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk.
Officer: There's a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!?
Driver: Yes, sir.
Hearing this, the officer immediately called his captain. The car was quickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached the driver to handle the tense situation:
Captain: Sir, may I see your license?
Driver: Sure. Here it is. It was valid.
Captain: Whose car is this?
Driver: It's mine, officer. Here's the owner's card. The driver owned the car.
Captain: Could you slowly open your glove box so I can see if there's a gun in it?
Driver: Yes, sir, but there's no gun in it. Sure enough, there was nothing in the glove box.
Captain: Would you mind opening your trunk? I was told you said there's a body in it.
Driver: No problem. Trunk is opened; no body.
Captain: I don't understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn't have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the glovebox, and that there was a dead body in the trunk.
Driver: Really? Ain't that something? And I'll bet the lying sucker told you I was speeding, too.
Drinking under influence One night a police officer was staking out a particularly rowdy bar for possible DUI violations. At closing time, he saw a fellow stumble out of the bar, trip on the curb and try his keys on five different cars before he found his. The man sat in the front seat fumbling around with his keys for several minutes.
Meanwhile, all the other patrons left the bar and drove off. Finally he started his engine and began to pull away. The police officer was waiting for him. As soon as he pulled onto the street, the officer stopped him, read him his rights and administered the breathalyzer test to determine his blood-alcohol content.
The results showed a reading of 0.0.
The puzzled officer demanded to know how that could be. The driver replied, "Tonight I'm the designated decoy."
Another Speeding Joke
A police officer attempts to stop a car for speeding and the guy gradually increases his speed until he's topping 100 mph. He eventually realizes he can't escape and finally pulls over.
The cop approaches the car and says, "It's been a long day and my tour is almost over, so if you can give me a good excuse for your behavior, I'll let you go."
The guy thinks for a few seconds and then says, "My wife ran away with a cop about a week ago. I thought you might be that officer trying to give her back!"
Wife Joke Wife: "There's trouble with the car. It has water in the carburetor."
Husband: "Water in the carburetor? That's ridiculous."
Wife: "I tell you the car has water in the carburetor."
Husband: "You don't even know what a carburetor is. Where's the car?"
Wife: "In the swimming pool."
Getting out of a Speeding Ticket Did you hear about the kid who was pulled over for speeding?
The cop got out of his car and the young man rolled down his window."I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said. The guy replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could."
